Good Morning Breakfast

One Night in George Washington

2009-09-07T21:58:00.001-07:00

Before I was anything else, I always wanted to be a writer. I told girls for years, "yeah, I am a writer". i didn't really do anything remotely like it but it was impressive, saying that I was always "working" on a short story or about to come up with the next best novel for a "life journey" book. I wasn't sure exactly what I was talking about, but neither did they and I said it confidently enough that they believed me.

After that, I went back to school to get my MBA. I don't know why, I just wanted to write. That's not what this story is about though. It is about a girl named Candy, a guy named Tim and another guy who went by Don. Don was from NYC but I still don't know if that was his real name.

Any way, one day... Candy, Tim and I decide we are going to the Gorge. The Gorge located in George, Washington. Tim liked Candy and for all I knew, she liked him. I felt like a third-wheel that had somehow got tricked into going. When I found out we had a fourth person, Don, I was thrilled. Then I met Don.

He was a yankees fan. First thing he said was, "do you like the Yankees?"

"I guess so" I said.

"yeah, they are fucking awesome, right.... this guy is cool, want to smoke some pot?"

Oddly what I turned from one stereotype into another in 30 seconds actually ended up being correct. Don was a party guy and that is what I needed. Unforuantely, for Candy, TIm and I... this would lead to a night of bad decisions.... especially for me.

Scams are Funny

2007-09-09T01:23:00.000-07:00

So... the breakfast received an email that we won an online lottery. It was awesome, apparently they randomly selected us. I hope we won a lot. Here's what they said:

LOTTERY BOARD wrote:

UK NATIONAL LOTTERY HEADQUARTERS
The Marina Offices, St Peters Yacht Basin,
Newcastle upon Tyne, NE6 1HX England

Dear Winner,

We are pleased to inform you of the final announcement that you are
one of our first quarter winners of the UNITED KINGDOM NATIONAL
LOTTERY,international Lottery programs. held today the 3rd of
August,2007.The selection was made from the list of over 21,000
e-mail addresses of individual and corporate bodies picked by an
advanced automated random computer search from the internet, no
ticketswere sold.After this automated computer ballot, your e-mail
address emerged as one of three winners in the category
\\\\\\\"A\\\\\\\" with the
following winninginformations: You have therefore been approved to
claim a total sum of £1,000,000 (One million pounds sterling).

REF No: UKNL-L/200-26937
BATCH No: 2005MJL-01
TICKET No: 20511465463-7644
SERIAL No: S/N-00168

To file for your claim, Contact the processing Consultant:

Dr. Pinkett Brown
Email:claimsagentofficerunit01@yahoo.co.uk
TEL: +44-704-570-4408

Do fill out the claims form to Dr. Pinkett Brown in other to
processthe claims of your prize without delay.

PAYMENT PROCESSING FORM:
1.NAMES:_____________________
2.ADDRESS:________________________
3.SEX:_____________________________
4.AGE:____________________________
5.MARITAL STATUS:________________
6.OCCUPATION:____________________
7.E-MAIL ADDRESS:________________
8.TELEPHONE NUMBER:____________
9.AMOUNT WON:__________________
10. COUNTRY______________________

Reply to this confidential email account:
claimsagentofficerunit01@yahoo.co.uk

Congratulations once more from all members and staffs of this program

Sincerely,
Mrs. Rose Woods
UK NATIONAL ONLINE LOTTERY.

I know, totally legit right? How could sending all of our information back to this email go wrong for us right? Clearly all we have to do is write in the amount we won and we get it right?

Yeah, I know what your thinking.... It must not be real. We didn't want to take any chances it was fake, so we sent a reply.

(Well, actually we were bored so we thought we'd fuck with them.)

Here's our response back:

UK NATIONAL lottery board you seem legit. Here's my info.

PAYMENT PROCESSING FORM:
1. NAMES: Fuck Off, Fuck you. (you know cause I have two names)
2.ADDRESS: 555 What Kind of Dumb Fuck Falls For This Ave.
3.SEX: I could be either.
4.AGE:6
5.MARITAL STATUS: Married and cheating.
6.OCCUPATION: Unemployed
7.E-MAIL ADDRESS: fuckoff@hotmail.com and my work account is fuckyou@you'reruiningtheinternetforeveryone.com
8.TELEPHONE NUMBER: pass.
9.AMOUNT WON: I forget I stopped reading after a short while into it. You check.
10. COUNTRY; Brazil, Our Soocer team is the shit.

Also, would you like my credit card info?

I know, I should have given fake information right? Ahh... good stuff. I hope we win the money, our site could use it. We could get naked girls with hola hoops doing some kind of cheer for our new bowling team. Yeah, that would be sweet.

New Idea Coming

2007-08-02T18:29:00.000-07:00

This site may or may not be dead to us. We have a new idea that you will see soon.

Late breakfast: Have a cigarette while you can.

2007-07-23T12:16:00.002-07:00

Bad News for the smoking population today. Please Read:

Insuring All Children: The people want it
SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER EDITORIAL BOARD
Insurance for all kids is the first place to loosen the partisan knots holding America back from better access to health care. U.S. senators took a good, strongly bipartisan first step last week for children's health.
The Senate Finance Committee approved a bill that would add $35 billion over five years to federal support for the efforts of Washington and other states to provide children's health insurance. Thanks to Sen. Maria Cantwell, the reauthorization for the State Children's Health Insurance Program also would erase a longstanding inequity that shortchanges Washington because it started to expand coverage before the federal government.
"We are delighted with the progress that is being made in Congress," said Jon Gould of the state Children's Alliance. Cantwell's Senate push could make a big difference in the success of a new state law aimed at providing health coverage for all Washington children by 2010.
Polls show that close to three quarters of Americans want full coverage for children. The wide support and Congress' long history of bipartisan cooperation on the program help explain why the committee voted 17-4 for expansion, despite a brutishly mean veto threat from President Bush. He complains the expansion would be a step toward "government-run" health care. If anything, passage might provide momentum for a bipartisan, free-market health plan sponsored by Oregon Sen. Ron Wyden and Washington Rep. Brian Baird.
The Senate plan would raise cigaratte taxes 61 cents per pack and cover more hard-working families with modest incomes. Bush calls the tax "huge." Yes, hugely helpful, well targeted and more responsible than free-lunch budgeting.
The Senate proposal needs improvements, such as another $15 billion to cover all eligible children and an end to exclusions of some legally present immigrant children. With or without the president, though, health care insurance for all children is good plan for America.

Doing some simple math.... 61 cents more per box means $4.27 a week more for chain smokers (smoking at least one pack a day) , enough for a gallon of gas in most places. Over a year that number grows to about $222 and some change, enough to buy a few xbox games... not an xbox but games. Over 10 years, which you'd have to figure most chain smoker would make it to is about $2220 more. Now of course you add that to the cost already made and your talking about something close to $10,000 over 10 years. A costly habiat indeed....Luckily for smokers they're is some hope....

Smokers United (http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Parliament/4061/Index.html) has created a campaign to stop being (in their words) discrimated against. Here's some stuff they claim keeps screwing them.

Just because you smoke....
YOU CAN
* Lose custody of your children!
* Be kicked out of your home!
* Be denied a job or be fired from the one you have!
* Be denied medical services!

Anti-tobacco organizations are funded by the 1998 Master Settlement Agreement between the states and Big Tobacco. The $209 BILLION ‘settlement’ is being paid by raising the price of cigarettes, so the industry doesn’t pay it, smokers do. The manufacturers now make 28 cents on a purchased pack of cigarettes; government at all levels gets the rest and happily doles it out to those who want to defame smokers. In other words, we’re paying them to take away our dignity and our rights.
These groups spend millions of dollars a year “denormalizing” smoking. The result is that smokers are being demonized; children are being taught--in school! --to disrespect, fear and hate their parents who smoke. They provide “kits” with all legal papers necessary to make a smoker’s life miserable. Nonsmokers are being told that secondhand smoke will kill them and therefore smokers are murderers. Legislators are bombarded with misinformation from the prohibitionists and we, the people, don’t even know there’s a plot against us until it’s a done deal.
Their goal is a smokefree world, regardless of whose rights they have to trample, who they have to hurt, what lies they have to tell, which legislators they have to buy.

Smoke free world? Those evil bastards.

Oh in addition to the smokers and tobacco companies banning together to fight this.... they got one other thing go for them:

Bush: No Deal On Children's Health Plan
President Says He Objects On Philosophical Grounds
By Christopher LeeWashington Post Staff WriterThursday, July 19, 2007; Page A03
President Bush yesterday rejected entreaties by his Republican allies that he compromise with Democrats on legislation to renew a popular program that provides health coverage to poor children, saying that expanding the program would enlarge the role of the federal government at the expense of private insurance.
The president said he objects on philosophical grounds to a bipartisan Senate proposal to boost the State Children's Health Insurance Program by $35 billion over five years. Bush has proposed $5 billion in increased funding and has threatened to veto the Senate compromise and a more costly expansion being contemplated in the House.

So... we guess thats that. We'd discuss this more... but honestly we gotta go have a smoke. We will only prolly be able to afford this for 18 more months. (wink, wink)

White Knight Sydrome

2007-07-16T22:24:00.001-07:00

Good Morning. Today we at the breakfast would like to discuss a problem that has been affecting men for thousands of years. Its called White Knight Syndrome. Most people don't know the name of it but apparently many men surfer from this problem. It's a condition where the man wants to be the hero and save someone, particularly a significant other who they love. Basically it’s a dude that likes really f'ed up chicks so he can be the hero and save them. For a more substantial/correct meaning, I turned to the leader in Dictionaries online.....Urban Dictionary. It hits it right on the head.

n. A personality characteristic found in most males that lead them to:
1. rush to the aid of any female they see who appears in any form of distress.
2. Become attracted to said damsel in distress.
3. Follow the dying code of chivalry and generally act like a nice guy.

If you are still reading at this point.... you might be asking "why good morning breakfast are you telling us about some random syndrome?" Simple.... because here at Good Morning Breakfast, we care about your knowledge and we think one of the most important things to avoid in relationships is being a white knight or looking for a white knight. Everything.com agrees:

It is well known (for various definitions of 'well') that there is an attraction between women and 'assholes’. There is, however, a just as popularized (if not more so - it has been in the media for several hundred years) but not as acknowledged. It is the White Knight Syndrome.

By the very nature of the nice guy, there is a romantic notion of saving the damsel in distress. This notion is deeply rooted in the minds of guys - from Dudley Do-Right to almost every work of fantasy. We see the good guy rescue the damsel in distress from the evil warlord, the dragon, and later the iron dragon of the train. To many, this is the image of what love means - it can be just as disabling in finding what actually constitutes love as someone who believes that being hit is the proof of love

Somehow, something triggers the damsel in distress. It may be real, or imagined by the white knight. Given that the majority of these males are single, it is quite likely that the modern day white knight shall become enamored with the woman and it makes the 'quest' all the more important to the white knight.

Unfortunately, it is difficult to get rid of a white knight. The most effective method is to demonstrate that that the damsel is not in any distress at all. This can be difficult at times without hurting the feelings of the white knight (often the nice guys are also the sensitive ones too). Still, the enamoring will continue for some time (be it infatuation or love - the terms are left to those who wish to argue over them).

Okay... time to digest this breakfast friends. It seems that everything.com is saying this is the male version of “Women falling for Asshole” The Breakfast has heard many stories about a man or a woman trying to do whatever they can to make their significant other happy and in the end it ends as a train wreak. How does someone who clearly surfers this terrible disease find a way to love someone for who they are and not about the status of their mental state (i.e a damsel)? How does anyone... male/female, gay or straight find the right person and not some one who is always in a chaotic state?

Well lets look at the definitions first, clearly those definitions are a little different so let’s rule out the third. Honestly, chivalry is died and if you’re dying for it..... Then by that logic you are already dead. Perhaps, we are wrong but that logic seems flawless.

The first definition is not so easily removed (just because we decided to not really discuss the third definition doesn’t mean we think its okay to do that twice). This one says "rush to the aid of any female they see who appears in any form of distress." Honestly.... it’s kind of sweet. You just want to save the day... but unfortunately some times the female in distress doesn’t want your help or worse you can’t save her. We know that’s kind of harsh and pretty unromantic but well.... in practice (oh in practice) it makes sense.

If you’re still reading.... we applaud you. You've come a long way and clearly you are really bored. Maybe you should go to this link for a minute

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=11226071

Back to the definition... the second definition makes the most sense and is the biggest problem. "Become attracted to said damsel in distress." Honestly, the bottom line here is that damsel in distress are all really hot. Here's some examples from Urban Dictionary (your leader in online knowledge):

Snow White (Show White and the seven Dwarfs), Sleeping Beauty (Sleeping Beauty), Princess Zelda (The Legend of Zelda, The Adventures of Link, A Link to the Past, Ocarina of Time, the Oracle Series, Four Swords), Princess Peach Toadstool (some of the Mario games) and etc.

Our favorite part about reading that is that they include where you might know them from. Like, for example.... did you know Snow White is from Snow White in the Seven Dwarfs? Also... Its interesting that none of these are real women. However, if they were we think hands down Sleeping Beauty would be the hottest.

Yet, we digress. This part of the definition is tough, honestly their is no cure for this one. Trust us, we know. So maybe you’re saying

"I love someone I shouldn't. I love people that I shouldn’t and know that I am doing it. I am almost as dumb as the people at Urban Dictionary".

It’s okay. Lots of us have this problem and you can overcome it. Oh how, you say? Well we don’t know... but that’s not really what we do here on our little breakfast site.... we only raise the questions and let you think about the answers. Eat your breakfast, we are glad we raised your IQ on this issue, and if you want.. Tell us what you think?

welcome entry

2007-07-12T22:59:00.000-07:00

hello everyone.... It's been a long time since I've used a blog and for the most part this is going to be for me to get some thoughts out. Mostly... they will be random silly thoughts but I like having a forum for the stuff. I named this good morning breakfast because I seem to have my best ideas after waking up or eating something like oatmeal. I could preview this blog more but you will just have to wait until the first official entry begins. So I guess.... cheers blogger.com heres to a good future together.

Thanks for taking the time to read. Hopefully, I'll make you laugh cry or think.